“What’s my purpose?” “Why am I here?” “What am I supposed to be doing with my life?”
These questions have echoed through human consciousness since the beginning of time, and if you’re asking them, you’re in good company. From teenagers choosing college majors to mid-life professionals questioning their career paths, from new parents redefining their identity to retirees wondering what comes next, the search for purpose is a universal human experience.
But here’s what I’ve learned from walking alongside hundreds of people in their purpose-discovery journeys: purpose isn’t something you find like a hidden treasure waiting to be uncovered. Purpose is something you create, cultivate, and allow to evolve. It’s not a destination you arrive at, but a way of being that you develop.
If you’re feeling lost, confused, or disconnected from a sense of meaning in your life, you’re not broken. You’re not behind schedule. You’re simply in the sacred space of questioning—and that questioning itself might be the beginning of your answer.
The Myth of the Single Purpose
Before we dive into the questions that can guide your purpose discovery, let’s address one of the most paralyzing myths about purpose: the idea that you have one specific calling that you must discover and pursue.
This myth suggests that there’s a predetermined purpose written in the stars for you, and your job is to figure out what it is. If you haven’t found it yet, you’re failing. If you choose the wrong path, you’ve wasted your life. If your interests change, you’re unfocused or lacking commitment.
Here’s the truth: You don’t have just one purpose. You have many.
Your purpose can evolve as you evolve. What gives your life meaning at 25 might be completely different from what gives it meaning at 45 or 65. You might have professional purposes, relational purposes, creative purposes, and spiritual purposes, all valid, all valuable, all part of your larger human experience.
Some people find their purpose through their career. Others find it in their relationships, their creativity, their service to others, or their spiritual practice. Many find it in a combination of these areas. There’s no right or wrong way to live a purposeful life.
This perspective shift—from finding your purpose to creating your purposes—can be incredibly liberating. It takes the pressure off getting it “right” and puts the power back in your hands to design a meaningful life.
The Difference Between Purpose, Passion, and Calling
As we explore purpose, it’s helpful to distinguish between some related but different concepts:
Purpose is your reason for being—what gives your life meaning and direction. It’s often connected to how you want to contribute to the world or the impact you want to have.
Passion is what energizes you—activities, subjects, or experiences that light you up and make you feel alive. Passions can fuel purpose, but they’re not the same thing.
Calling is a sense of being drawn toward something larger than yourself. It often feels like something you’re meant to do, though it doesn’t have to be professional or even clearly defined.
You might have a purpose to help others heal, a passion for writing, and a calling to work with people who’ve experienced trauma. These can all work together, but they’re distinct elements of a meaningful life.
Understanding these distinctions can help you avoid the trap of thinking you need to monetize every passion or that your purpose must be your profession.
Questions for Purpose Discovery
The following questions are designed to help you excavate your own wisdom about what matters to you. There are no right or wrong answers, only your answers. Take your time with them, revisit them regularly, and notice how your responses evolve.
Questions About Your Values
Your purpose is often rooted in your deepest values, the principles and qualities that matter most to you.
Core Questions:
- What do you value most in life? (Examples: family, creativity, justice, beauty, growth, service, freedom, security)
- When do you feel most like yourself?
- What principles would you never want to compromise, even under pressure?
- What kind of person do you most want to be?
- What values were you taught growing up, and which of those still resonate with you?
Deeper Exploration:
- If you could only pass on three values to the next generation, what would they be?
- What injustices in the world make your heart ache?
- What achievements or qualities do you most admire in others?
- When you’re at your best, what values are you expressing?
Questions About Your Gifts and Strengths
Your purpose often involves using your natural gifts and developing strengths in the service of something larger than yourself.
Core Questions:
- What comes naturally to you that others find difficult?
- What do people frequently ask for your help with?
- What activities make you lose track of time?
- What compliments do you receive most often?
- What skills have you developed through your various life experiences?
Deeper Exploration:
- What talents do you have that you might be taking for granted?
- How have your most difficult experiences shaped your strengths?
- What would your closest friends say you’re uniquely good at?
- What skills from your work life (even jobs you didn’t love) could serve a larger purpose?
- If you worked in corrections, law enforcement, or other high-stress fields, what unique strengths did you develop?
Questions About Your Pain and Healing
Often, our greatest purpose emerges from our greatest pain. The wounds we’ve healed become the source of our ability to help others heal.
Core Questions:
- What challenges have you overcome in your life?
- What struggles have taught you the most about yourself?
- What kind of pain do you feel called to help alleviate in others?
- What would you want to tell someone going through what you’ve been through?
- How have your difficulties made you stronger, wiser, or more compassionate?
Deeper Exploration:
- What healing work have you done that could benefit others?
- What insights have you gained from your struggles that others might need to hear?
- If you could prevent others from experiencing your pain, how would you do it?
- What support did you wish you had during your most difficult times?
- How might your story of transformation inspire others?
Questions About Your Dreams and Desires
Your purpose often aligns with your deepest longings and dreams, even if they seem impractical or impossible.
Core Questions:
- What did you dream of doing when you were younger?
- If money weren’t a factor, how would you spend your time?
- What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
- What impact do you want to have on the world?
- How do you want to be remembered?
Deeper Exploration:
- What dreams have you abandoned that might still hold wisdom?
- What would you do if you had unlimited resources and support?
- What legacy do you want to leave behind?
- If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be?
- What kind of difference do you want to make in people’s lives?
Questions About Your Energy and Joy
Purpose isn’t just about duty or service; it’s also about what brings you alive and fills you with energy.
Core Questions:
- What activities energize you rather than drain you?
- When do you feel most joyful and alive?
- What environments or situations do you bring your best?
- What conversations could you have for hours without getting bored?
- What makes you feel most connected to something larger than yourself?
Deeper Exploration:
- What activities make you feel like you’re in flow?
- When do you feel most creative and inspired?
- What causes or movements make you feel passionate?
- What kind of people do you most enjoy being around?
- What settings or activities help you feel most connected to your authentic self?
Questions About Your Current Life
Sometimes, purpose is hiding in plain sight within your current circumstances.
Core Questions:
- What aspects of your current life feel most meaningful?
- Where do you already make a positive impact, even in small ways?
- What parts of your day or week do you look forward to most?
- How are you already living your values, even if imperfectly?
- What would you miss most if it were taken away from your life?
Deeper Exploration:
- How could your current roles (parent, partner, employee, friend) be expressions of purpose?
- What small changes could make your current life feel more meaningful?
- Where are you already using your gifts, even if you don’t recognize it?
- How might your current challenges be preparing you for your larger purpose?
- What opportunities for impact exist right where you are?
Working with Your Answers
After reflecting on these questions, you might have pages of insights—or you might feel more confused than when you started. Both responses are normal and valuable.
Here’s how to work with whatever emerges:
Look for Patterns and Themes
Review your answers and look for recurring themes. You might notice:
- Values that show up repeatedly
- Strengths that appear in multiple contexts
- Dreams that have persisted over time
- Ways your pain points toward helping others
- Activities or causes that consistently energize you
These patterns often point toward elements of your purpose.
Start Small and Experiment
You don’t need to quit your job or make dramatic life changes to begin living more purposefully. Start by:
- Volunteering for causes that align with your values
- Using your strengths to help others in small ways
- Pursuing interests that energize you, even as hobbies
- Having conversations about topics that matter to you
- Looking for ways to express your values in your current roles
Notice What Wants to Emerge
Sometimes purpose reveals itself gradually as you pay attention to what consistently calls to you. Notice:
- What opportunities keep presenting themselves
- What invitations or requests come your way
- What problems do you find yourself naturally wanting to solve
- What conversations or activities leave you feeling energized
- What synchronicities or meaningful coincidences occur
Be Patient with the Process
Purpose discovery is rarely a linear process. You might have clarity one day and confusion the next. You might think you’ve found your purpose only to discover it’s one piece of a larger puzzle. This is all part of the journey.
Trust that clarity comes through action more than through thinking. Sometimes you need to start moving in a direction that feels right and adjust course as you learn more about yourself.
Special Considerations for Different Life Stages
Young Adults (20s-30s)
You might feel pressure to have your purpose figured out, but this is prime time for exploration. Focus on:
- Trying different experiences to learn what resonates
- Paying attention to what energizes vs. drains you
- Building skills that could serve multiple purposes
- Staying open to possibilities you haven’t considered
Mid-Life (40s-50s)
You might be questioning purposes that once felt clear or feeling called to something new. Consider:
- How your values or priorities have evolved
- What you’ve learned about yourself through your experiences
- How you want the second half of your life to be different
- What legacy do you want to create
Later Life (60s+)
You might be redefining purpose as roles change. Explore:
- How to share the wisdom you’ve gained
- What contributions only you can make
- How to find meaning in this life stage
- What purposes transcend career and traditional roles
Life Transitions
Major changes—career shifts, relationship changes, health challenges, loss—often trigger purpose questions. Use these times to:
- Reflect on what really matters to you
- Consider how your experiences could serve others
- Explore new possibilities that align with who you’re becoming
- Trust that transitions can lead to greater clarity
Purpose in High-Stress Professions
If you’ve worked in corrections, law enforcement, healthcare, or other high-stress fields, your purpose discovery might involve unique considerations:
Recognizing Hidden Purposes: You may have been living purposes of service, protection, and justice without recognizing them. These are valid and valuable purposes.
Processing Occupational Trauma: If your work has been traumatic, part of your purpose might involve healing from those experiences and helping others who face similar challenges.
Translating Your Experience: The skills and insights you’ve gained, crisis management, reading people, handling stress, understanding human nature, can serve many purposes beyond your original profession.
Considering Career Transitions: If you’re leaving a high-stress field, your purpose might involve using your unique experience in new ways—training, consulting, writing, or helping others navigate similar transitions.
When Purpose Feels Elusive
If you’ve worked through these questions and still feel unclear about your purpose, consider these possibilities:
You might be in a transition period. Sometimes we need to let go of old purposes before new ones can emerge.
You might be overthinking it. Purpose often becomes clear through action and experience rather than analysis.
You might be looking in the wrong place. Purpose doesn’t have to be professional or public. It might be found in your relationships, creativity, or personal growth.
You might have multiple purposes. Instead of searching for one thing, consider how you might live purposefully in multiple areas of your life.
You might need support. Sometimes an outside perspective—from a therapist, coach, mentor, or trusted friend—can help you see what you can’t see on your own.
Living Your Purpose Daily
Purpose isn’t just about big life decisions; it’s about how you show up every day. Once you have some clarity about what matters to you, consider:
Daily Practices:
- How can you express your values in your current roles?
- What small actions can you take that align with your purpose?
- How can you use your strengths to serve others, even in minor ways?
Decision-Making:
- When facing choices, ask: “Which option is more aligned with my purpose?”
- Consider: “How would my best self-handle this situation?”
- Reflect: “What would someone I admire do in this circumstance?”
Relationships:
- How can you show up more purposefully in your relationships?
- What conversations or connections would feel meaningful to you?
- How can you support others in discovering or living their purposes?
The Evolving Nature of Purpose
Remember that purpose isn’t static. As you grow and change, your sense of purpose may evolve too. What matters is not finding the perfect, permanent purpose, but living as purposefully as possible with the awareness you have right now.
Your purpose today might be healing from past trauma. Tomorrow it might be raising children with love and wisdom. Later, it might be mentoring others, creating something beautiful, or serving a cause you care about. All of these are valid expressions of a purposeful life.
A Final Reflection
As you continue your purpose discovery journey, remember that the very act of seeking meaning is meaningful. The questions you’re asking, the reflection you’re doing, the desire to live with purpose—these are all signs of a life being lived with intention and depth.
Your purpose doesn’t have to be grand or publicly recognized. It doesn’t have to solve world problems or change thousands of lives. It just has to be true to who you are and aligned with what matters to you.
Maybe your purpose is to bring more kindness into the world through your daily interactions. Maybe it’s to use your experience with struggle to help one person feel less alone. Maybe it’s to create beauty, seek truth, build connections, or simply live with as much authenticity and love as possible.
Whatever your purpose turns out to be, trust that it’s worthy. Trust that you’re worthy. And trust that by simply asking these questions and seeking to live with meaning, you’re already on the right path.
About the Author:
Dr. Alinda Swanigan is a licensed therapist and certified life coach whose own purpose discovery journey began in an unexpected place, the halls of correctional facilities where she worked for 10.5 years. Witnessing both human suffering and incredible resilience in that environment sparked her calling to help people transform their experiences into sources of strength and meaning.
As the author of “The Blessing in Being Overlooked” and founder of HerRebirthJourney nonprofit, Dr. Therapiva specializes in helping people, especially those navigating major life transitions, discover their unique purpose and create lives aligned with their deepest values. She believes that purpose isn’t something you find, but something you create through conscious choice and authentic living.
Her approach combines practical purpose-discovery tools with a deep understanding of how our most challenging experiences often point us toward our greatest contributions. Through her work at True Self Wellness, she serves as both guide and “purpose pusher,” helping clients see possibilities they might not see on their own.
Learn more about purpose-focused coaching and life transformation at True Self Wellness.